The California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation (A.K.A. CDCR Prisons) began transferring low level prisoners to various CA county jails Monday before last. These CA prisoners are soon to be released from prison, possibly in the next couple of months.
Rumor has it that in the next weeks, others who qualify for the CA Early Release Program, but have done too much prison time to be released immediately, will soon be transferred to various state prisons that will become pre-release centers. These prisons are supposed to focus on helping these prisoners slowly transition back into the free world.
My Prison Love Story
Want to know how all of this affects the future of me and my fiance? I wrote all about in my blog post entitled, "CA Prisoners Started Being Transferred to CA County Jails." Check it out.
Read more about steps being taken towards the CA Prison Realignment Process: California Prisoners Started Moving to County Jails
To keep up-to-date on our ongoing love story, please follow me blog: The Prisoner's Fiance.
Blogs I Follow:
Renee Patterson Writes
The Personal Blog of Kiesha Joseph
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
I just joined a network for prison sites and prison blogs.
I was just invited to join a network for prison sites and blogs. I am so excited because I have been a member of Clickbank and Commission Junction for a couple of years now. I have been unable to find quality links to place on my site. There are very few companies that offer prison goods and services in their networks.
As I understand it, adding these non-relevant links does not help your Google rankings. Google likes our sites and blogs to link to other sites and blogs in our niche. They want the links to be in some way related to who we are and what we do.
I am hoping that joining this network will help raise my search engine rankings. The only way this will actually work is if other relevant sites add their links too. Then, we all have to be sure to link back to the directory. I have already placed my backlinks on my blog. Now, it's your turn.
As I understand it, adding these non-relevant links does not help your Google rankings. Google likes our sites and blogs to link to other sites and blogs in our niche. They want the links to be in some way related to who we are and what we do.
I am hoping that joining this network will help raise my search engine rankings. The only way this will actually work is if other relevant sites add their links too. Then, we all have to be sure to link back to the directory. I have already placed my backlinks on my blog. Now, it's your turn.
Monday, September 19, 2011
12 Days til State Prisoners Become County Inmates
In exactly 12 days, the CDCR prison system will begin releasing low-level prison inmates to the custody of various California county jail systems. These changes are due to begin on October 1, 2011 as one of many efforts to help the prison overcrowding problem in our state.
What This Could Mean to a Loved One
If your prison loved one is a low-level offender who is classified as a low-level CDCR prison inmate, these new changes affect your lives, specifically:
- He or she could be released from the state prison and placed in the custody of their county as early as October 1, 2011.
- If your loved one is placed in an overcrowded county jail system to serve the remainder of their time, they may be released even earlier to make room for higher level inmates.
- Your loved one will be released to the county jail probation system, instead of the infamous state prison parole system. This could help to serve your family reunification process in a few ways. Here's just three:
- Probation rules are not as strict as parole rules. This does not mean they will be free to re-offend just because they are not on parole. It just means that the smallest mistake will not be automatic cause to be returned to the state penitentiary, like not paying a traffic ticket on time.
- Probation systems are more lenient when it comes to career needs. They have even been known to allow non-troublemakers to travel for really good jobs, as long as they check in regularly.
- Those who do re-offend, but commit very low-level offenses, will be sent back to the county jail, not the CA state prison. This may sound crazy, but I believe this is good for the morale of a man who just made a simple, silly mistake. He can get out soon enough to save his job, but get knocked upside the head long enough to remind him how lucky he is to have his early prison freedom.
I will do my best to stay up-to-date on this topic as it unfolds. In the meantime, here's a short, informative blog on the subject. Check it out."CDCR Changes for Low-Level Prisoners"
Sunday, July 17, 2011
The Social Effects of Having Loved Ones in Prison
Life has its highs and lows. There are things that chance into our lives that we never bargained for from the outset. A typical example could be having a flat tire while running to make it to a job interview on time. But, if for any reason, one finds his freedom confined within the walls of a prison, the effects are really devastating.
It is really sad that one’s freedom can be taken away from him for one or more reasons. Honestly, I am not trying to stand for or against the legal system that upholds jail sentences. But, I am trying to x-ray the effects of such a sentence on a person with regard to his family members and friends. I think that is where it really hurts.
Now, there are many prisoners who probably left behind their wives and kids. Even if the wife of a prisoner has the inner strength to stay without the man, what about the raising of their kids? Raising children is never meant for a single parent. The challenges involved are enormous. Sometimes, the kids end up in foster homes. Yes, it is true that these kids can receive proper nurturing in such environments, but that of his parents can never be equalled by any other.
Statistics reveal that most children who end up gangsters and prostitutes are traced to dysfunctional homes. There is the role of a parent, even though he may not be morally perfect, that the child needs. The fact that dad is around has a way of shaping the life of kids. A recent documentary by CNN titled; “American Al-Qaida”, tells the story of how a young American lad joined the Al-Qaida network after mom and dad separated. The picture is no different when mom or dad is confined within prison walls. They are separated, and the frustration gets deeper and lethal.
In addition, friends of prisoners suffer a lot, too. In a friendship, everyone brings something to the table. Friendship is like parts of our body. Each differs from the other, but in all, they are best of friends with a single purpose. Once a finger is bad it could affect even the head. So, when someone is imprisoned, his friends suffer. They are denied the warmth and fellowship of a noble friend. For some prisoners who had pen-friends before the jail sentence, imagine the endless letters going out without a single reply coming in. Worse still, if the prisoner was addicted to social sites, such as Facebook, it will hit his friends hard on the network as they keep sending messages and postings without any replies or “likes.”
Such is what people go through just for one man in jail. He is not the only one bearing the burden. In fact, some families bear more than the prisoner does. It is really a breaking time for friends and family members who have someone spending a while behind bars. And the heater turns on during birthdays of their loved ones in prison. Friends and relations would love to gather and celebrate with him. But such can only exist in the realm of wishful thinking. Being in prison is a hard knock on both sides. But courage and faith surely conquer.
By Renee Patterson
Blog Coming Soon!
Blog Coming Soon!
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Mommy's Favorite Holiday - 4th of July
My mom's favorite holiday is The 4th of July. When I was growing up, we had a home with a swimming pool, and we lived on a cul-de-sac (dead end street). This made our home the perfect place for the family to get together and swim all day. Then, that night, it was the safest place in the family for kids to light their fireworks in the middle of the streets and not have to worry about traffic.
I remember staying up all night on the 3rd with my mother, granny and aunts, helping them get the food together. I remember standing in the kitchen, cleaning the greens, listening to them gossip about other family members outside of our circle. The smell of the bacon as they got it, and the bacon fat, ready to go into the pot of greens. Watching just how much brown sugar should go into the baked beans. Watching my mom sneak a little mustard in the potato salad when my granny turned her back.
Being an "80's Baby" (which actually means I was a teen in the 80's), I can really remember the times when holidays meant so much. It was really great to have these family traditions that ensured that you got to see certain people, at a certain time, every year. Attendance at family holiday gatherings was not optional. It wasn't exactly optional. But, it was understood. It was always implied that as a family member, it was your duty to attend. It was not just a responsibility. It was a privilege. You were groomed that way from birth. And, you never questioned. it.
Then came the late 80's. I hate to admit it, but there was a substance that came along that not only destroyed lives, but it obliterated neighborhoods and changed the entire concept of what the word "family" meant. This, in turn, changed the way our families valued and celebrated holidays.
As our grandparents and other elders began to die, many people were left with a generation (our parents') whose values did not match those of the strong, family-oriented grandparents of our past. They forgot where they came from, on the positive-tip. Their priorities were not of God, our Lord, but of the "gods" of the streets. Those substances became more important than the time it takes to enjoy teaching the next generation the value of family.
As I write this, I wonder if I have done enough to try to re-instill these values in my younger siblings and cousins. As the oldest, I have a voice. A very important voice. It is very important to me that I use it to teach them and help them realize the dreams shared with me by elders passed before their time. I need them to know God. I need them to understand the value of family. I need them to look forward to those family holiday gatherings that ensure that we are a strong union of one. We are a network of leaders. I need to lead them the way my elders lead me. And, teach them to lead the next generation the same way.
With all that said, this will not be a sad holiday for me. I am taking Granny to see her tomorrow, July 4, 2011, her favorite holiday. I will reminisce with her about past 4th of July and try to really get an understanding of what happened to make her stop celebrating it. I need to understand it to learn from it. Because, I do plan to change it.
My hope is that one day, my mom will be home, celebrating the 4th of July with us, her family. We will all be together, swimming by day, fireworks by night. The only difference is that we will be at my home. She will be so proud to see me carrying on a tradition she started so many years ago. That is what a "legacy" is all about.
Happy 4th of July 2011,
The Prisoner's Daughter
Don't forget to check out my blog dedicated to being "The Prisoner's Fiance"!
I remember staying up all night on the 3rd with my mother, granny and aunts, helping them get the food together. I remember standing in the kitchen, cleaning the greens, listening to them gossip about other family members outside of our circle. The smell of the bacon as they got it, and the bacon fat, ready to go into the pot of greens. Watching just how much brown sugar should go into the baked beans. Watching my mom sneak a little mustard in the potato salad when my granny turned her back.
Being an "80's Baby" (which actually means I was a teen in the 80's), I can really remember the times when holidays meant so much. It was really great to have these family traditions that ensured that you got to see certain people, at a certain time, every year. Attendance at family holiday gatherings was not optional. It wasn't exactly optional. But, it was understood. It was always implied that as a family member, it was your duty to attend. It was not just a responsibility. It was a privilege. You were groomed that way from birth. And, you never questioned. it.
Then came the late 80's. I hate to admit it, but there was a substance that came along that not only destroyed lives, but it obliterated neighborhoods and changed the entire concept of what the word "family" meant. This, in turn, changed the way our families valued and celebrated holidays.
As our grandparents and other elders began to die, many people were left with a generation (our parents') whose values did not match those of the strong, family-oriented grandparents of our past. They forgot where they came from, on the positive-tip. Their priorities were not of God, our Lord, but of the "gods" of the streets. Those substances became more important than the time it takes to enjoy teaching the next generation the value of family.
As I write this, I wonder if I have done enough to try to re-instill these values in my younger siblings and cousins. As the oldest, I have a voice. A very important voice. It is very important to me that I use it to teach them and help them realize the dreams shared with me by elders passed before their time. I need them to know God. I need them to understand the value of family. I need them to look forward to those family holiday gatherings that ensure that we are a strong union of one. We are a network of leaders. I need to lead them the way my elders lead me. And, teach them to lead the next generation the same way.
With all that said, this will not be a sad holiday for me. I am taking Granny to see her tomorrow, July 4, 2011, her favorite holiday. I will reminisce with her about past 4th of July and try to really get an understanding of what happened to make her stop celebrating it. I need to understand it to learn from it. Because, I do plan to change it.
My hope is that one day, my mom will be home, celebrating the 4th of July with us, her family. We will all be together, swimming by day, fireworks by night. The only difference is that we will be at my home. She will be so proud to see me carrying on a tradition she started so many years ago. That is what a "legacy" is all about.
Happy 4th of July 2011,
The Prisoner's Daughter
Don't forget to check out my blog dedicated to being "The Prisoner's Fiance"!
Monday, June 27, 2011
Introducing the Prison Websites Affiliate Program
Thank you for visiting my blog. I am proud to announce that I am starting an affiliate network specifically for Websites and blogs related to prisons, prisoners, prison-life, prison reform, etc...
My Reason
I am creating this network simply because I cannot find one like this to join myself. Affiliate marketing programs such as CJ, Linkshare, & Google networks are all great, UNLESS your site is related to prisons. There are very few links that I have found to be relevant to sites like ours. If you do find an affiliate that may work, (IE, online greeting cards, phone companies, etc...) they are bound to decline you as a network member because they simply don't see how their product is relevant to your Website or blog.With this network, all backlinks will be relevant to your prison-related site!
My Current Ideas
- Below are some ideas I have in mind for launching and promoting this program.
- This will be a paid-program. The cost will be very affordable. I'm thinking somewhere between $5-$20 per month to remain in the program.
- 50% of all proceeds made from this program will go towards the purchase of my mom's quarterly packages.
- Anyone who has a prison related site will be approved, as long as the site is not an adult site, hate-site or down right distasteful.
- Once you become a member, you will have access to banners and affiliate links to all of the prison related sites in our network.
- The Website itself will feature quality backlinks to all members' Websites and blogs.
Site Pages
- The home page will contain blog updates of new members, their company info, Website info, etc...
- There will be page categories that will be customized to ensure that all members are placed in a category that makes sense.
- Each Regular Member's site will be featured in the appropriate category.
- Premium members will also have their own page that will profile their company and link to their own Website.
Interested?
Click here to complete the questionnaire.
You are not signing up for anything. This questionnaire is just to give me an idea of how many people may be interested and what they need.
Friday, June 24, 2011
Daughters Left Behind
About a month ago, I watched one of the best documentaries I have ever seen. Well, at least it's the one I could relate to the most. It's called "Who Cares About Girls?: Daughters Left Behind" by Lisa Ling (2007).
This documentary touches on how the incarceration of a mother effects the everyday lives and well-being of their children. It follows a few girls as they prepare for and during visits with their moms in prison. What was so touching to me was how strong these girls had to appear to be, even though they were truly hurting inside about not being able to be "with" their moms.
I was amazed to find out that there are still people and organizations out there that care about these girls and their futures. If this documentary does nothing else, it reinforces the idea that these girls need to see, talk to, spend time with, and touch their mothers. This maternal nurturing is key to the way they choose to handle the situation today, and in their futures.
As the daughter of a prisoner, I truly can relate to these girls. It actually brought out the "mommy's little girl" inside me as I sat there crying for and with these girls. It made me take the time to thank God that my mother was not in prison when I was a little girl. As an adult, I am able to handle it better. But, I still have to admit: I really miss having my mother "in" my life.
Women are being arrested, tried and convicted in record numbers-and the majority of women in prison are mothers. Since mothers are often the primary or sole caregivers to their children, their incarceration can destroy a family. The displacement and separation from their mothers can take a serious toll on the children left behind. Children with parents in prison run a high risk of ending up in jail themselves and often suffer from a host of psychological problems, from shame and anger to depression and abandonment issues.
Journalist Lisa Ling sets out to find out what life is like for the daughters of women behind bars and how 'the system' helps or hinders them. We'll explore new programs attempting to help break the cycle of imprisonment from mother to daughter. We'll visit with Jessica and Yasmin whose mothers are in prison - one in Shakopee Women's Prison in Minnesota.
The information above was taken from IMDb.
Order this DVD online now!
This documentary touches on how the incarceration of a mother effects the everyday lives and well-being of their children. It follows a few girls as they prepare for and during visits with their moms in prison. What was so touching to me was how strong these girls had to appear to be, even though they were truly hurting inside about not being able to be "with" their moms.
I was amazed to find out that there are still people and organizations out there that care about these girls and their futures. If this documentary does nothing else, it reinforces the idea that these girls need to see, talk to, spend time with, and touch their mothers. This maternal nurturing is key to the way they choose to handle the situation today, and in their futures.
As the daughter of a prisoner, I truly can relate to these girls. It actually brought out the "mommy's little girl" inside me as I sat there crying for and with these girls. It made me take the time to thank God that my mother was not in prison when I was a little girl. As an adult, I am able to handle it better. But, I still have to admit: I really miss having my mother "in" my life.
Storyline of "Who Cares About Girls?: Daughters Left Behind"
If a mother is in prison, what happens to her children?Women are being arrested, tried and convicted in record numbers-and the majority of women in prison are mothers. Since mothers are often the primary or sole caregivers to their children, their incarceration can destroy a family. The displacement and separation from their mothers can take a serious toll on the children left behind. Children with parents in prison run a high risk of ending up in jail themselves and often suffer from a host of psychological problems, from shame and anger to depression and abandonment issues.
Journalist Lisa Ling sets out to find out what life is like for the daughters of women behind bars and how 'the system' helps or hinders them. We'll explore new programs attempting to help break the cycle of imprisonment from mother to daughter. We'll visit with Jessica and Yasmin whose mothers are in prison - one in Shakopee Women's Prison in Minnesota.
The information above was taken from IMDb.
Sorry for the Unsafe Notification
Recently, it was brought to my attention that there was a warning on my blog that said it was unsafe. Today, I found that there were numerous posts from a company in Japan that contained links to other unsafe sites.
I have deleted all of these comments. Now, because of this, I have had to set my permissions so that I have to approve any comments posted to my blog. I hate having to do this, but thanks to spammers, it must be done this way. I apologize for any inconvenience this may cause anyone.
Love Always,
The Prisoner's Daughter
P.S.
New blog post coming by the end of today. Yay! Lol!
I have deleted all of these comments. Now, because of this, I have had to set my permissions so that I have to approve any comments posted to my blog. I hate having to do this, but thanks to spammers, it must be done this way. I apologize for any inconvenience this may cause anyone.
Love Always,
The Prisoner's Daughter
P.S.
New blog post coming by the end of today. Yay! Lol!
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
PRIVATE AND HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL
kane chan & Associate Chambers
29 Chaeng Wattana,
Nonthaburi 11120, Thailand.
Email:kane.chan@info.al
29 Chaeng Wattana,
Nonthaburi 11120, Thailand.
Email:kane.chan@info.al
Dear Friend,
Firstly, I apologize for sending you this sensitive information via e-mail instead of a Certified mail/Post-mail. This is due to the urgency and importance of the information. This project is based on Trust, confidentiality and sincerity of purpose in order to have an acceptable meeting of the minds.I am Barrister kane chan, a Solicitor. I am the Personal Attorney to Mr. Edward Williams, who used to work with SIAMRAK Company Limited in Bangkok Thailand . On the 21st of April 2007, his wife and their three children were involved in a car accident along Sukhumvit Express Road.
Unfortunately, they all lost their lives in the event of the accident. Since then I have made several enquiries to your Embassy to locate any of my client's relatives, this has also proved unsuccessful. After these several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to trace his relatives over the Internet to locate any member of his family but to no avail, hence, I contacted you to assist in repatriating the money left behind by my client in a Finance Company. Particularly, the Finance House where the deceased deposited the US$10 Million (Ten Million United States Dollars only).
Consequently, this Finance House issued me a notice to provide the Next of Kin to claim the US$10 Million (Ten Million United States Dollars only) in their custody within the next ten official working days. Since I have been unsuccessful in locating the relatives for over 3 years now, I seek your consent to present you as the next of kin of the deceased to claim the fund as the Next of Kin to him so that the fund will be transferred to your account by the Finance House.
Upon receipt of the fund, I will come over to your country to meet with you for the disbursement of the fund and then you and I will share the money in this order: 55% will be for me, 45% will be for you. I have all the necessary legal documents that can back our claim we will make with the Finance House.
All I require is your honest co-operation to enable us seeing this deal through. I guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law.
You are needed as a next of kin to inherit left fund.
Best regards .
Barrister kane chan (Esq.)
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Friday, May 6, 2011
My Blogworld Chronicle Feature
@PrisonDaughter is so excited to announce that we have been featured in today's edition of "My Blogworld Chronicle."
My Blogworld Chronicle was created by Twitter user: @GoodBlogPosts. It is an online newspaper dedicated to profiling quality blogs and blog posts. I like this site because they have found a creative way to profile blogs using categories. It's still an infant-in-the-making, but I can truly see the potential.
@GoodBlogPosts Good idea! Great job! I am proud to be able to say my blog was the first one featured in your "Education" section. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help. I would love to be a part of this project!
My Blogworld Chronicle was created by Twitter user: @GoodBlogPosts. It is an online newspaper dedicated to profiling quality blogs and blog posts. I like this site because they have found a creative way to profile blogs using categories. It's still an infant-in-the-making, but I can truly see the potential.
@GoodBlogPosts Good idea! Great job! I am proud to be able to say my blog was the first one featured in your "Education" section. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help. I would love to be a part of this project!
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Visiting Day - 4.23.2011
I'm off to see my mother this morning. It's been a couple of months. So much has happened since then. I can't wait to catch her up on some things I didn't feel like writing her about.
Yesterday, my Granny called to confirm that I was still going to take her today. She said that she had been trying to get down there for a while, but no one would take her. I promised her that I would.
My Granny has such a sarcastic sense of humor. Outsiders think it is so cute. Her offspring, on the other hand, finds it to be very annoying and obnoxious, yet rider-style hilarious. She told me that if I don't show up today, she was going to "hunt me down like a rabid dog and shoot me to put me out of my misery"! I thought to myself, "Wow, what a 'nice' thing to say to your granddaughter." LMBO!
Anyway, I'm off to see my dad's baby-momma. Another day with the two matriarchs of my maternal family. Once again, this will be an interesting day. Will update you all later. Wish me luck!
The Prisoner's Daughter
Yesterday, my Granny called to confirm that I was still going to take her today. She said that she had been trying to get down there for a while, but no one would take her. I promised her that I would.
My Granny has such a sarcastic sense of humor. Outsiders think it is so cute. Her offspring, on the other hand, finds it to be very annoying and obnoxious, yet rider-style hilarious. She told me that if I don't show up today, she was going to "hunt me down like a rabid dog and shoot me to put me out of my misery"! I thought to myself, "Wow, what a 'nice' thing to say to your granddaughter." LMBO!
Anyway, I'm off to see my dad's baby-momma. Another day with the two matriarchs of my maternal family. Once again, this will be an interesting day. Will update you all later. Wish me luck!
The Prisoner's Daughter
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Please, Don't Hurt My Mom!
So, I get a call today informing me that my mom needs $300 on her jpay acct TODAY, or some broad is gonna cause her great harm.I immediately started shaking. Something kept telling me not to answer the phone earlier when this person kept calling. I am not a morning person and really didn't need to start my day with my mom on the 3-way, frantically telling me this story.
I didn't even care why. I really didn't even want to know. But, I realized that the caller had been dealing with this all morning, while I was being the denial queen I am famous for being. I knew in my gut that she was calling with something bad. So, when I finally answered her call, I had to let her get it all off of her worried chest.
Then, it came down to the money itself. The caller had already sent $100. I only had $100 to send, which I put on her jpay account while we were still on the phone. She said that everyone else told her no, for one reason or another. I am trying to understand every one's point of view. But, the bottom line is, this is not extortion. She actually owes this woman money for something another family member promised to give her the money for. A necessity. Now, that person doesn't have the money. Understandable. So, we ALL need to pitch in. Even if you can only send $10. That's real talk!
Anyway! I don't have it in me to let this stress me out today. I have been making myself physically ill with my alcoholism, cigarettes and stress. As of this moment, I am giving this up to God. I made a decision this morning to check into rehab, ASAP. I cannot let this deter me from what I need to do to save my own life.
God will take this problem under his wing and handle it for us, because He knows I cannot. I need to save my strength for the journey I have ahead of me.
This is the life of The Prisoner's Daughter.
I didn't even care why. I really didn't even want to know. But, I realized that the caller had been dealing with this all morning, while I was being the denial queen I am famous for being. I knew in my gut that she was calling with something bad. So, when I finally answered her call, I had to let her get it all off of her worried chest.
Then, it came down to the money itself. The caller had already sent $100. I only had $100 to send, which I put on her jpay account while we were still on the phone. She said that everyone else told her no, for one reason or another. I am trying to understand every one's point of view. But, the bottom line is, this is not extortion. She actually owes this woman money for something another family member promised to give her the money for. A necessity. Now, that person doesn't have the money. Understandable. So, we ALL need to pitch in. Even if you can only send $10. That's real talk!
Anyway! I don't have it in me to let this stress me out today. I have been making myself physically ill with my alcoholism, cigarettes and stress. As of this moment, I am giving this up to God. I made a decision this morning to check into rehab, ASAP. I cannot let this deter me from what I need to do to save my own life.
God will take this problem under his wing and handle it for us, because He knows I cannot. I need to save my strength for the journey I have ahead of me.
This is the life of The Prisoner's Daughter.
Friday, April 8, 2011
She Wants to be a Grandmother
Every so often, I get a letter from my mom which contains a newspaper clipping or other information related to fertility. My mom has wanted to be a grandmother most of my adult life. Now that I am 40, she's going through a panic about me starting menopause recently.
I have always wanted children, all my life. I could never seem to be in a relationship that I felt was loving enough to bring a child into. So, I've pretty much put it off until now. But, having a family of my own is definitely still my biggest dream and daily prayer to God.
Now, things are complicated even more by the fact that I am in love with a man prison. (See my blog, "The Prisoner's Fiance" for details.) He still has a couple of years to go, while I continue to go through menopause. My mother truly fears that this choice may cause me to never be able to have children.
I've started researching the different fertility options that I may have. I am still researching and going through consultations, but it looks like I've pretty much made a decision. I plan to have my eggs frozen. That way, if all of my eggs are useless by the time my boo gets released, we will still have the option of using my frozen eggs to make our family.
Because he has been my best friend for two decades, he always knew there were some type of fertility issues for me. Now that we're in love, he is more than happy to go through whatever procedures we need to in order to have children together.
I guess the only question will be, "How many eggs do we use at one time"? Knowing my mother, she will say "Use them all"! But, Lord knows I don't want to be "Me & Him + 8" or "The New Octo-mom." LOL! LMBO!
I have always wanted children, all my life. I could never seem to be in a relationship that I felt was loving enough to bring a child into. So, I've pretty much put it off until now. But, having a family of my own is definitely still my biggest dream and daily prayer to God.
Now, things are complicated even more by the fact that I am in love with a man prison. (See my blog, "The Prisoner's Fiance" for details.) He still has a couple of years to go, while I continue to go through menopause. My mother truly fears that this choice may cause me to never be able to have children.
I've started researching the different fertility options that I may have. I am still researching and going through consultations, but it looks like I've pretty much made a decision. I plan to have my eggs frozen. That way, if all of my eggs are useless by the time my boo gets released, we will still have the option of using my frozen eggs to make our family.
Because he has been my best friend for two decades, he always knew there were some type of fertility issues for me. Now that we're in love, he is more than happy to go through whatever procedures we need to in order to have children together.
I guess the only question will be, "How many eggs do we use at one time"? Knowing my mother, she will say "Use them all"! But, Lord knows I don't want to be "Me & Him + 8" or "The New Octo-mom." LOL! LMBO!
Saturday, April 2, 2011
prisonersdaughter.general@blogger.com Did u know that 75% of all inmates in IN Pendleton prison r srvng life?
Thursday, February 10, 2011
FILED: "Ex Parte Motion to Correct Defendant's Presentence Custody Credits"
Recently, my mom sent me a copy of something she had, what appears to be, a jailhouse attorney write up for her. She had already filed it with the courts and was mailing me a copy so that I could join in praying over it with her. It was called an "Ex Parte Motion to Correct Defendant's Presentence Custody Credits."
Basically, when my mom finally got tired of fighting her case (3 yrs) and agreed to take a deal, somehow, they got her to "agree" to let them "keep" the 3 years she had already served. In essence, her time started the day she was sentenced. But, this person in jail helping her with her legal stuff found that this was unconstitutional and figured out the loopholes somehow.
The irony is that people inside have been telling her for a couple of years now that this can be corrected. So, she's been asking for out help, without success. It was just too much for any one person to deal with after we finally got settled down from the whole ordeal. And, we are not exactly a "come together" type of family. Which meant that she had to turn to someone in prison with her to help her with this legal issue.
Don't get me wrong. I've told you before that my entire family supports my mother. We all do what we can. That's what I requested in the beginning when people asked me what could they do to help. I simply told everyone, "Everyone has a part. Just figure what your part is, and do it." And, everyone has. But, there were major reasons why we could not help her with this request:
Supporting her means that she fights her own battles and I'm in her corner to root her on, bandage her up, give her water, pump her up, towel her sweaty face, etc... Enabling her means I push her out of the way and fight all the rounds for her. That is unhealthy for the both of us.
As of now, due to the research and diligence of her and her "Friend Inside", I am intrigued. I will be researching this subject, finding old cases, seeking affordable legal assistance, etc... I am just looking for someone to advise HER on steps SHE needs to take to move this along. She is finally fighting for herself again. She just needs me in her corner. I love my mother. I will support her through this!
Check out this cool video about how one man uses his love for music and dance to help change the lives of women in a maximum security prison. Prisoners at Maldon's Tarrengower Prison are the focus of a television choir program Jail Birds which was previously broadcast on TV ABC1.
Basically, when my mom finally got tired of fighting her case (3 yrs) and agreed to take a deal, somehow, they got her to "agree" to let them "keep" the 3 years she had already served. In essence, her time started the day she was sentenced. But, this person in jail helping her with her legal stuff found that this was unconstitutional and figured out the loopholes somehow.
The irony is that people inside have been telling her for a couple of years now that this can be corrected. So, she's been asking for out help, without success. It was just too much for any one person to deal with after we finally got settled down from the whole ordeal. And, we are not exactly a "come together" type of family. Which meant that she had to turn to someone in prison with her to help her with this legal issue.
Don't get me wrong. I've told you before that my entire family supports my mother. We all do what we can. That's what I requested in the beginning when people asked me what could they do to help. I simply told everyone, "Everyone has a part. Just figure what your part is, and do it." And, everyone has. But, there were major reasons why we could not help her with this request:
- Money. There are only two financially secure (rich) people in our family. The rest of us are all struggling to get back on top. Who has the money to invest in this? Attorneys were asking for $5,000 just to sit down and consult on this. And those two people help her financially as it is. It's too much to ask that they do this alone just because they have it.
- Faith. Those of us who are skeptics, didn't even believe it was possible for her to get that time back. We just assumed that since she agreed to it in court during her sentencing, it was etched in stone. We figured it was a losing battle that we did not have the strength to fight. And those that did believe, did not have the strength (or money) to fight the battle alone.
- Strength. I have to mention this one again. It took so much out of those of us who were so close to my mom to get through the three years of fighting, and the initial shock of her actually being in the pen. Once the dust settled, the crying finally stopped, and relationships with the sober her started to rebuild, most of us didn't have the strength to even think about starting a new fight. Personally, on the selfish tip, I just wanted her to do her time and let me try to put my life back together. I needed to work on ME for a while.
Supporting her means that she fights her own battles and I'm in her corner to root her on, bandage her up, give her water, pump her up, towel her sweaty face, etc... Enabling her means I push her out of the way and fight all the rounds for her. That is unhealthy for the both of us.
As of now, due to the research and diligence of her and her "Friend Inside", I am intrigued. I will be researching this subject, finding old cases, seeking affordable legal assistance, etc... I am just looking for someone to advise HER on steps SHE needs to take to move this along. She is finally fighting for herself again. She just needs me in her corner. I love my mother. I will support her through this!
Check out this cool video about how one man uses his love for music and dance to help change the lives of women in a maximum security prison. Prisoners at Maldon's Tarrengower Prison are the focus of a television choir program Jail Birds which was previously broadcast on TV ABC1.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
I Am a Codependent
It's amazing how some days can bring on such memories. Not having my mother here in my life makes even the good memories sad sometimes. Most days, I stay busy, so I stay strong. But, some days, it takes all I have to fight the tears and pain in my heart.
I spent so many years being my mom's parent because that's what she needed at the time. Now, when I see her in those prison blues, I realize she was always stronger than I gave her credit for. I was her enabler. And being an addict, she was all for it. As long as I was there to pick up the slack, she never really had a reason to get herself together and handle her own business.
According to wiseGEEK.com, "Most often the term enabler is associated with people who allow loved ones to behave in ways that are destructive... The term enabler is also part of the larger definition of codependency. Codependency at first arose as a definition of adaptive behaviors a person might make if he or she lives with someone with substance abuse or severe emotional problems. A codependent tends to remain so, because he or she adapts to or ignores the behaviors of the ill person. In fact, the codependent often becomes an enabler because it allows one to be involved in fewer conflicts."
That is the most accurate description of the relationship my mother and I had before she got clean in prison. After a tragedy like this, every loved one involved starts to question themselves, their role in the person's demise, and what they should or should not have done differently. Then, the self-guilt begins.
As I began to travel deeper into my spiritual journey, it became clear that I needed forgiveness to move on with my life. I needed to forgive my mother for her bad decisions. I needed my mother to forgive me for not being able to “save her” in time. I needed to forgive myself for being her enabler, her codependent.
I prayed on this for probably four or five years before I came to the conclusion that I would not be able to forgive myself until I figured out why… why was I so weak in this situation, when I am so strong any other time? In time, I figured it out. It was just as stated above, the codependent often becomes an enabler because it allows one to be involved in fewer conflicts.
That’s the bottom, selfish line. It was always easier to just “whatever.” It was easier to keep the peace than to fight for my mother’s life. That’s where I needed to forgive myself. Although codependents are enablers because they love the addict, it is still the easy way out. It makes the enabler’s life easier. But, it does nothing to truly help and save the life of the addict they love so much.
Now that I understand my decision to enable, and my reasons why, I can forgive myself and move on. I have grown spiritually over these years. God has given me the strength to not only learn how to put my love for myself first, but to endure all with strength, love and understanding.
I understand now, Mommy. You were never mad or disappointed in me. You were a practicing addict. And, your addiction didn’t love me. But, you did, you do, and you always will. I will love and support (but, not enable) you for the rest of our lives. I love you, Mommy!
I spent so many years being my mom's parent because that's what she needed at the time. Now, when I see her in those prison blues, I realize she was always stronger than I gave her credit for. I was her enabler. And being an addict, she was all for it. As long as I was there to pick up the slack, she never really had a reason to get herself together and handle her own business.
According to wiseGEEK.com, "Most often the term enabler is associated with people who allow loved ones to behave in ways that are destructive... The term enabler is also part of the larger definition of codependency. Codependency at first arose as a definition of adaptive behaviors a person might make if he or she lives with someone with substance abuse or severe emotional problems. A codependent tends to remain so, because he or she adapts to or ignores the behaviors of the ill person. In fact, the codependent often becomes an enabler because it allows one to be involved in fewer conflicts."
That is the most accurate description of the relationship my mother and I had before she got clean in prison. After a tragedy like this, every loved one involved starts to question themselves, their role in the person's demise, and what they should or should not have done differently. Then, the self-guilt begins.
As I began to travel deeper into my spiritual journey, it became clear that I needed forgiveness to move on with my life. I needed to forgive my mother for her bad decisions. I needed my mother to forgive me for not being able to “save her” in time. I needed to forgive myself for being her enabler, her codependent.
I prayed on this for probably four or five years before I came to the conclusion that I would not be able to forgive myself until I figured out why… why was I so weak in this situation, when I am so strong any other time? In time, I figured it out. It was just as stated above, the codependent often becomes an enabler because it allows one to be involved in fewer conflicts.
That’s the bottom, selfish line. It was always easier to just “whatever.” It was easier to keep the peace than to fight for my mother’s life. That’s where I needed to forgive myself. Although codependents are enablers because they love the addict, it is still the easy way out. It makes the enabler’s life easier. But, it does nothing to truly help and save the life of the addict they love so much.
Now that I understand my decision to enable, and my reasons why, I can forgive myself and move on. I have grown spiritually over these years. God has given me the strength to not only learn how to put my love for myself first, but to endure all with strength, love and understanding.
I understand now, Mommy. You were never mad or disappointed in me. You were a practicing addict. And, your addiction didn’t love me. But, you did, you do, and you always will. I will love and support (but, not enable) you for the rest of our lives. I love you, Mommy!
prisonersdaughter.general@blogger.com Haven't seen my mom in 2 wks. Hope she's not feeling neglected with this block on my
Thursday, February 3, 2011
prisonersdaughter.general@blogger.com Time for 1st quarter packages. Mom has sent her list a& 5 letters rushing me. Gonna
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Seven prison guards suspended after allegations of inmate abuse | ajc.com
Seven prison guards suspended after allegations of inmate abuse ajc.com
By Joel Anderson
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
The Georgia Department of Corrections announced Friday that it was suspending seven prison guards with pay pending an investigation into allegations of inmate abuse at the Macon State Prison.
Read More
By Joel Anderson
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
The Georgia Department of Corrections announced Friday that it was suspending seven prison guards with pay pending an investigation into allegations of inmate abuse at the Macon State Prison.
Read More
3 Generations, Together After So Long
Last weekend, I took my grandmother to see my mom in prison. It was my mother's first time seeing her mother and only child at the same time in almost seven years (not including court dates where she was so heavily sedated that she was technically incoherent.)
It was a real treat for the three of us. It was ironically a very happy day. There we were, three generations of strong, independent women, chopping it up like the women of love that we are. The ironic part was that the strongest one of all, the one from the middle generation, is a CDCR prisoner.
It's so amazing watching our family grow since this tragedy which has become a blessing to myself, my mother and my family in so many ways. When I was born, I was born to a mother, two grandmothers, two great-grandmothers, a great-great-grandmother, two grandfathers and a surrogate great-great-grandfather. Of all of these people, all but one is the oldest of their generation. And that one, is an only child. I, too, am the oldest of my generation.
Growing up, this came with great responsibility. Truth be told, it sill does. The day my mom was arrested, I knew that day had come when I would have to be even more responsible than ever. I would have to carry the load of the strongest person alive in our family, while carrying the load of being the only one strong enough to carry her weight.
I know there are things that I could have said and done to be more supportive to those that needed me. But, all and all, I handled it the best way I knew how... alone. Once my mom's trials were over and she was finally Level 4 and "on the bus", it was time to concentrate on me again. I had forgotten who I was. I couldn't even remember what I was doing before this happened. Who were my friends? What did I like to do? What were my skills? What did I want out of life? Since I was unable to answer any of these questions, I had to take time out to reinvent myself.
Thanks to the encouragement (and pushiness) of my father, I found myself in and through God. I used His word and love to guide me to where He wanted me to be. I chose to forgive God for "making my life so bad." Which allowed me to forgive myself (for not finding a way to save my mother). From there, the forgiveness just rolled on and on until I wasn't even mad at my molester anymore.
So, it was interesting to see the three of us, three strong women, women who represent their generations, evolving, growing, loving, praying, preaching, sharing and caring. Only God knows what the meaning of all of this is. And, my faith tells me there is definitely a meaning, a spiritual purpose. Only God knows if the three of us will ever get to share those days together one day on the streets. But, I do know that prisoner or not, my mother will always have pride in her eyes when she sees her mother and/or her child. And, prisoner or not, my Granny and I will always love and support my mother no matter what.
During my mom's downward spiral, the drugs told her that her family did not love her and that she did not need her family. Now, as a prisoner, she loves and needs us more than ever. And, as a family, we were so fed up with her mess that we had given up on her. Now, we all know the importance of standing by her... of standing by each other.
What's the true irony of it all? That it took for my mom to go to prison for my entire family to learn to love each other unconditionally again, and function independently and as a family, without the strongest structure in the family.
The moral to this story: Love them all you can until... always!
It was a real treat for the three of us. It was ironically a very happy day. There we were, three generations of strong, independent women, chopping it up like the women of love that we are. The ironic part was that the strongest one of all, the one from the middle generation, is a CDCR prisoner.
It's so amazing watching our family grow since this tragedy which has become a blessing to myself, my mother and my family in so many ways. When I was born, I was born to a mother, two grandmothers, two great-grandmothers, a great-great-grandmother, two grandfathers and a surrogate great-great-grandfather. Of all of these people, all but one is the oldest of their generation. And that one, is an only child. I, too, am the oldest of my generation.
Growing up, this came with great responsibility. Truth be told, it sill does. The day my mom was arrested, I knew that day had come when I would have to be even more responsible than ever. I would have to carry the load of the strongest person alive in our family, while carrying the load of being the only one strong enough to carry her weight.
I know there are things that I could have said and done to be more supportive to those that needed me. But, all and all, I handled it the best way I knew how... alone. Once my mom's trials were over and she was finally Level 4 and "on the bus", it was time to concentrate on me again. I had forgotten who I was. I couldn't even remember what I was doing before this happened. Who were my friends? What did I like to do? What were my skills? What did I want out of life? Since I was unable to answer any of these questions, I had to take time out to reinvent myself.
Thanks to the encouragement (and pushiness) of my father, I found myself in and through God. I used His word and love to guide me to where He wanted me to be. I chose to forgive God for "making my life so bad." Which allowed me to forgive myself (for not finding a way to save my mother). From there, the forgiveness just rolled on and on until I wasn't even mad at my molester anymore.
So, it was interesting to see the three of us, three strong women, women who represent their generations, evolving, growing, loving, praying, preaching, sharing and caring. Only God knows what the meaning of all of this is. And, my faith tells me there is definitely a meaning, a spiritual purpose. Only God knows if the three of us will ever get to share those days together one day on the streets. But, I do know that prisoner or not, my mother will always have pride in her eyes when she sees her mother and/or her child. And, prisoner or not, my Granny and I will always love and support my mother no matter what.
During my mom's downward spiral, the drugs told her that her family did not love her and that she did not need her family. Now, as a prisoner, she loves and needs us more than ever. And, as a family, we were so fed up with her mess that we had given up on her. Now, we all know the importance of standing by her... of standing by each other.
What's the true irony of it all? That it took for my mom to go to prison for my entire family to learn to love each other unconditionally again, and function independently and as a family, without the strongest structure in the family.
The moral to this story: Love them all you can until... always!
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
I Am The Prisoner's Daughter
It's been a long 6 years, 11 months & 14 days since that horrible day when my mom was arrested. I can still remember it like it was yesterday. That day officially became the worst day of my life.
After 3 years of fighting 3 seperate cases, 2 hung jurys, 2 public defenders, 2 private attorneys, 5 judges and 4 district attorneys, she finally took a deal. I begged her to keep fighting, but 3 years in the county jail were just too unbearable. All she kept speaking of was grass, butterfiles, fresh air and outside. I had to try to understand. It was time for her to move on.
I am her 40 year old daughter who has never even been in handcuffs, let alone been arrested. She is my mother, a woman who prided herself on raising me right and making sure I know that I am entitled to the the best life has to offer... always. But, she is human. She made a mistake. And as she would do for me, I must stand by her.
It's been hard living my life out here in the world without my mother. She is the strongest woman I know. I have always been able to count on her. But, I must thank God that he put her in jail instead of letting her addiction cause her death. My mother is alive. And for that, I am grateful.
My mother may be a prison inmate, but I will never let her go through this alone. She is my mother. I am her daughter. Together, we will survive this and have great stories to tell.
Love,
The Prisoner's Daughter
prisonersdaughter@gmail.com
After 3 years of fighting 3 seperate cases, 2 hung jurys, 2 public defenders, 2 private attorneys, 5 judges and 4 district attorneys, she finally took a deal. I begged her to keep fighting, but 3 years in the county jail were just too unbearable. All she kept speaking of was grass, butterfiles, fresh air and outside. I had to try to understand. It was time for her to move on.
I am her 40 year old daughter who has never even been in handcuffs, let alone been arrested. She is my mother, a woman who prided herself on raising me right and making sure I know that I am entitled to the the best life has to offer... always. But, she is human. She made a mistake. And as she would do for me, I must stand by her.
It's been hard living my life out here in the world without my mother. She is the strongest woman I know. I have always been able to count on her. But, I must thank God that he put her in jail instead of letting her addiction cause her death. My mother is alive. And for that, I am grateful.
My mother may be a prison inmate, but I will never let her go through this alone. She is my mother. I am her daughter. Together, we will survive this and have great stories to tell.
Love,
The Prisoner's Daughter
prisonersdaughter@gmail.com
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